This is when it gets hard (thoughts on being in the middle)
This is when it gets hard. That’s what I thought to myself yesterday when a friend started talking about a new Facebook group she started.
This is when it would be easy to rationalize re-starting my account, so easy to take that step toward losing control again, and so hard to stay firm in what I already know: that Facebook is unhealthy for me.
A friend was talking about her desperation to lose weight and how she’s tried, over and over, to lose those extra pounds that hurt her health and sense of well-being. She said that the first few weeks of a new diet are easy. Then it gets hard.
I nodded. I can’t identify with the need to lose weight, but I can identify with that feeling of wanting to give up because to keep going feels impossible. Right now, I’ve hit that point with my publication efforts, with my second novel, with my calling as a writer. The first wind of enthusiasm is long-since gone, and putting word after word on a page, with no deadline or endpoint, seems so hard.
I’m in the middle. Middles are hard.
There’s always a point in every journey where things get hard, almost impossible. You’re far from the start, but the end point isn’t in sight. And if we’re honest, the endpoint may never be there. We may never achieve our goal. I may never get my novel published or have optimal mental health. My friend may never reach her goal weight. My church may never rebuild momentum after the split. I hope that it does, but the possibility of failure and defeat is real.
So what’s the point of continuing on, even when circumstances are difficult?
It’s about the kind of person you become in the process. What kind of character am I building? What kind of person am I becoming? I don’t want to be the kind of person who gives up easily. I want to finish strong.